How do I want...

How do I want the experience that I'm having?
With all the topsy turvy,
Upsy downsy
Kerfuffling about.
How do I sink into the sadness
And embrace it as a gem in the human spectrum?
How do I revel in the madness as a highlighted sensation of being alive?
How to I celebrate in the confusion,
Thrive in the awkwardness,
And relish in the anger, pity, guilt and loneliness?

Oh the interconnectedness of it all.
Oh the moments of sheer ecstasy and joy and bliss and jubilation — just as potent and significant as the dastardly, devilish polarity.

This range of human sensation is overwhelming.  Worth it I'm sure.

I have a full, burstingly bountiful palate of emotion. 
No one more or less important than the other. 
No one better or worse.
No one more desirable. 
They are all for me — and us —
To dance with,
To investigate,
To join and commingle. 
To experience as we breathe.

How is it that I want the experience I'm having? 
Without trying to push it away. 
Without trying to change it. 
Without trying to be somewhere other than exactly where I am.  

I'll stumble along this topsy turvy,
Upsy downsy
Landscape of kaleidoscopic Spirit at Play within my corporeal design
As long as I feel.

We get it all.
The wide array,
The fullness, the allness, the overwhelming — and underwhelming! — everything
To show us that we contain all.
To show us that we can feel so many capricious forms of concrete consciousness.
Our vessel is a highly tuned antenna
Suckling at Grace. 
The magnificent and dispassionate Grace. 
A Grace that we must radically accept as having no preference. 
It doesn't take sides on the feeling game.  
It gushes forth.
It entirely encompasses sensibility, 
Appealing to every possibility,
Every desire, want, wish, realm,
Reason and rhyme.

The everything of everythingness.
Is that what it means to be titilatingly alive?

So how is it that I go about wanting the experience that I'm having?